


Doubts

by MamzelleHermy



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Gil needed to react to that, Spoiler for Episode 1x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22506691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamzelleHermy/pseuds/MamzelleHermy
Summary: Malcolm telling Gil it was his fault he was so.... Maniac... Had to hurt, right?This is me imagining what Gil would have thought.(And I'm really bad at tittle finding and summaries, sorry)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> Really looks like I have sold my soul.
> 
> Another week, another story. If I have to be honest, I was already thinking about writing it when they released the teaser video. 
> 
> This episode was just amazing.

" It’s because of  you !”

The  words felt like a  knife in the  chest ,  hitting right  where his heart was beating . He  could hardly bare to  listen to the  rest of  what Malcolm  was saying but  he couldn’t help  hearing the  words .

Hearing the  words that he had always feared .

Hearing the  words and  thinking _ Oh  _ _ my _ __ _ god _ __ _ he _ __ _ is _ _ right _ . 

Because  _ wasn’t _ _ he? _

His rational mind knew that Malcolm’s words were just the sign of how bad he was feeling, the symptom of his PTSD being worsened by his time with Watkins.

But his heart, his heart couldn’t help thinking Malcolm was right. He was the cause of at least some of his pain and trauma. If he hadn’t reached out to bring Malcolm on that first case, the profiler maybe wouldn’t have gone back to see his father and he probably wouldn’t have kept profiling killers. After all, it was pretty well known that Gil Arroyo was the only one trusting Malcolm Bright to work with  the police.

Well, to be fair, maybe Dani and JT trusted him too now, maybe. But still, no one would have hired him. No one would have put him in dangerous situations again and again.

“Get out of my precinct.” Gil heard himself say, voice barely above a whisper, and yet still wavering.

He knew he couldn’t stay any longer, that he couldn’t watch Malcolm’s reaction, so he turned his back to the man he considered like a son and went to his office, slamming the door behind himself, even if he knew he shouldn’t have left his emotions get the better of him.

He was too angry and frustrated. At himself, at Malcolm, at the damn world for being a place so scary for the later that he would think letting himself be shocked would be the best course of action.

He still couldn’t believe Malcolm had done that. He would have shaken the young man if he thought he had any chance to obtain the truth about why he had done it.

He just  knew something was wrong with the profiler. Something more than his usual issues. And yet, there was nothing he could do to help.

“Damn it!” He cursed, kicking out at the visitor’s chair, hurting his toe but not caring for the least.

He was distracted from his swirling emotions by the sound of muffled cries from outside his door.

He clenched his fists, ready to dress down whoever was making so much noise in  _ his _ precinct and angrily re-opened his door. He was seconds away from opening his mouth when the lights suddenly flickered.

“Bright!” Dani’s frantic cries made all the blood in him freeze, terror like none filling him as he registered just where she was standing.

In front of the conference room. 

Where they had left that dreadful electroshock machine.

“No.” He  breathed, cold feeling him, still unable to move.

Did he just push Bright  to... To electrocute himself?

Electrocute himself with such intensity that the power went down? Did the machine malfunction?

Did he.... Kill Malcolm?

It felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. Like he was stuck in an endless loop.

He shouldn’t have thrown Malcolm out. He knew that working was Malcolm’s crutch. He knew what not working was doing to his already more than fragile mental health.

And he knew of Malcolm’s history.

He watched, detached as JT came around the corner, obviously concerned by Dani’s still ongoing panic. The muscled man was bracing himself to knock the door down when, miraculously, it opened.

Malcolm appeared. Pale, trembling, frantic and blissfully alive.

Gil felt as if his legs would stop working from relief and braced himself against his door.

Malcolm was alive. Not okay. But alive.

“I found him.” He was already explaining his theory, thousand words a minute, seemingly unaware of Dani’s tearful eyes and JT’s annoyed but also reived glare.

Dani interrupted him with a punch to his arm.

“You idiot!” Gil heard her say, voice shaking.

Malcolm looked completely taken aback, as if he had absolutely no idea what he had done wrong.

“But... I found the deprogrammer.”

Gil didn’t know whether to be exasperated or glad. He just didn’t know how to react anymore. He settled to let the Lieutenant in him talk.

“Explain.” He asked, voice tight. 

He knew Malcolm and him would have a conversation, a serious conversation, sooner or later, but right now, he also knew he needed to be one professional  listening to another.

Not a worried father with hurt feelings worried about the mental health of his all but by blood son.

**Author's Note:**

> So? Thoughts?
> 
> (And a part of my heart wants to write Dani's POV too but.... I don't know)


End file.
